Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy bullshit

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why do certain religions consider menstruating women to be impure? Where did the concept of impurity stem from?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can read

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If a guy is attracting a bunch of what he believes to be "ugly" women, is he crushing the dating game?

I can count

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Are there any men who have sex with male dogs?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What do bad boys know that nice guys don't?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why do flat earthers think using globetrotter, globetard, and other insults will make the educated arguer fall for the silly flat-earth belief?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What is one thing nice you did for someone today or something they did for you?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I actually pay taxes

I see through liars

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Is there anything you did that you regret? If so, what is it, and why?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand how hurricane paths work

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why do I want to suck cock tonight?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have a reading level above third grade

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.